i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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