she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
