don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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