apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
