I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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