Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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