Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
