And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
