okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
