Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
