first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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