So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
