come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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