i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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