That's when you crack a 10am beer
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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