I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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