Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
