im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
