Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
