I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The ass gains better be worth it
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