You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
