making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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