do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
