He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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