i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
