Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
