Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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