3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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