My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
