I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
