So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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