i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
