so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
