11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
