I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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