to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
