I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
