goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
be right there i have to get my cape
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
