I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
