he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
