officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
