I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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