used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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