textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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