I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
