yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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