That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
