She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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