So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
