you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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