then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
