Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
