Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
