Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
