Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
