Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
